December 12, 2019
The Christmas festivities are practically upon us but there seems to be a distinct lack of Christmas cheer this year, amidst all the talk of General Elections and Party Politics. Well, dear friends, fear not as the perfect tonic has graced your day in the form of our (in)famous CapeClarke Legal Recruitment Annual Mince Pie Connoisseurs Taste Test Extravaganza (2019 Edition). Not another word on the subject of budgets, forecasts and fridges – let the *real* event of the year begin. And so, without any further ado, here are our verdicts on 2019’s most notable (and forgettable) seasonal delights:
Morrisons
Kenneth. Why oh why must you, year-in-year-out tarnish your company’s reputation with such poor pies?. Honestly, this year’s pie is worse than the one last year. And that one, itself, was actually worse than the one before that. An apocalyptical decent into pastry horror. A pie in name only, the pastry was, yet again, soggy and the mincemeat heinous. This doesn’t taste like Christmas, Ken – it just tastes like culinary despair and resignation.
Result: 2/10
M&S Red Label
M&S have yet again done a good job this year. We begin with the (perhaps ironically named) ‘basic’ range of M&S and are delighted by the pastry and the rich, almost velvety mincemeat. If this is M&S’s “basic” range, then we can’t wait to see the others!
Result 8 /10
Sainsbury’s
Admittedly, Sainsbury’s mince pies are famously known for being as divisive as General Elections. We, at CapeClarke, are rather non-plussed. Sainsbury’s have yet again made a serviceable yet ultimately uninspired Christmas treat. Whilst the pastry is again quite firm, the mincemeat is pretty awful.
Result: 5/10
M&S Connoisseur Range
Last year, I revealed that I still occasionally have vivid dreams of the M&S Connoisseur Range Mince pies. You can therefore imagine my excitement at tucking into one of these delights this week. Everything from the way it looks, to the way it crumbles and reveals a ludicrously tasty filling – this is touching perfection. If I had to eat only one thing for the rest of my life, it would be one of these bad-boys, hands-down.
Result: 9.5/10
Betty’s
Time for the Clash of the Titans, the annual “Rumble in the Oven” – can M&S pull off an Anthony Josua-esque feat of redemption and win back its prestigious prize against all odds? Could they really make a better pie than Betty’s, the famed winners of the last CapeClarke Legal Recruitment Taste Extravaganza? In short, YES.
Result: 9/10
